How to Talk To Your Kids About Lent
Before I begin, knowing at least someone read my Bio. I do not have any children and would not presume to overstep my experience, so I will only lay out my thoughts in a free-form theory for explaining Lent simply. With the aim that if we can understand Lent ourselves we can find the words of explanation. If this is how you choose to speak to your children, then perhaps it was worth something, but I will keep the choice with you.
Lent: The Idea vs. The Practice
I find it easy to fall into the idea of Lent rather than its practice, but that practice is the whole point. Growing up, Lent was painted as a period of abstaining from the good and the easy: the year I gave up candy; the 40 days in high school without my phone; or what felt the longest in college, when I challenged myself not to swear. As I got older, I singled out what I believed were my most harmful present sins, and maybe that’s the way to do it. But is it only the way, or is it only the idea?
The Guilt Cycle
Guilt is a tricky piece in the Lenten puzzle. We want to feel sorry for our sin, experience real repentance, and receive absolution, but do we really let things go? I’m not sure that I do. So, during those 40 days, you become hyper aware of your sins, bringing them to the center of your world, and still you sin again. That’s the cycle I fell into when I failed at quitting cussing cold turkey. Messing up when you know you're supposed to care makes it hard not to feel guilty.
The Garden of Gethsemane
I think about that moment in Luke quietly as I feel the guilt of a persistent sin. I imagine myself sleeping with the Apostles when Jesus prays, because my eyes are heavy (Matthew 26:43). In that moment, Jesus our Lord is man, knowing His cross is coming, asking if this cup can pass over while sweating blood. He is abandoned by His friends, and by me.
To understand sin as our removal from God can be truly understood through our relationship with Jesus. Jesus is the bridge, the door, the Word. He is not only our guide but our friend. Through our sins, we participate in the wounds that put Him on the Cross and we continue to do it every day. I guess it is what you count as a sin, but I surely do.
Failure makes it hard to try, but failure is all we know. We have all fallen to temptation and will again, so how do we keep trying? Jesus found the Apostles sleeping three separate times, woke them up the first time, and they were sleeping from sorrow. Jesus brought them so they could watch with Him, to support Him in His hour of need. We cannot allow ourselves to fall asleep in our sorrow, our guilt."Get up and pray that you do not come into temptation."
Jesus knew He was going to die for our sins the whole time, yet He embraces the sinner. We are the lost sheep, so let's not think too highly of ourselves. The Lenten season is a time to be aware of why we want to remove ourselves from sin: to be closer with Jesus. There is never a moment He is not waiting on the other side of the door, listening for a knock.
We will come to temptation, but let's pray that we don’t. That's the whole point, Lent—clean and simple. Be the present sinner at Jesus’ table, humble not only through His presence but through our humanity. Each day, try to keep our eyes open, to stand by the side of our friend, our Savior.
The Idea in Practice
“Why are you sleeping? Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour [b] is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.” (Matthew 26:45–46)
Start with Jesus. He is the reason for the season, isn’t He? Bring Him to the center of your life first. In everyday moments, thank Him, listen for Him, and see Him in your brothers and sisters. Find the places in your life where you find it hard to bring Jesus into, and ask Him about it. Rid yourself of the vices which block His voice from being heard. Forgive your neighbors as He would and turn the other cheek. Build your life the way Jesus would envision it. What would your biggest supporter want for you? How should you succeed?
Take your seat with Him. He has welcomed you to His table, and now you must learn from Him.
How to Simplify Lent for Your Kids
Kids get to walk with an innocence I’ve grown out of, so if I were to explain this to children it would be in regards to a friend they have not yet wronged: A friend who is about to go through a hard time and needs their support. They get to spend 40 days being a friend to Jesus. If they choose to give up a vice, give them something to fill the space. If your son gives up video games, use the time he would have played to pray or read scripture. I’m sure for most of your kids this could be a drag, but it is important to teach them it can be fun to be a part of the Faith.
You can use free downloads here on Mercy Blossoms, or videos and fun activities on Catholic Moms.
Allow them to experiment with prayer and walk with wonder. For children, I see Lent as a time to make a friend, while the parent is making the introduction. So this Lenten season, introduce your children to Jesus, giving them space for their relationship to grow while you strengthen yours.
Your Lenten Season
Lent is quiet enough to fall asleep but instead use this silence to listen for Jesus. He brought you with Him, stand and support Him. Love is known in our hearts as they rest in mercy and the spirit is willing.